So today as Nick and I were reading Postsecret, our (my) Sunday ritual, we came across this secret which then led me to the actual blog of this woman who is "faking it" in the LDS Church. At first I was intrigued, "what would make someone write this kind of blog?" Then after reading some of the comments left on the page, I began to feel really sad. One woman wrote: "Why are all the Mormon mommies blogging and posting their recipes and taking perfect photos of the kids, homes, dinners, gardens, skinny selves with their Canon XSi cameras? Is the church telling them to do this as a passive-agressive recruiting mission, as their lives seem so perfect, married to doctors, successful business men, accountants, lawyers, etc., with the big beautiful homes? They have no jobs themselves, relish their SAH mom status and seem to have life so good?" I admit that Nick and I started a blog after I found some of my old church friends' blogs and decided it would be a fun idea to try. It would be a place where friends could catch up and see into our day-to-day life (which is something that is hard considering that a lot of our friends/family live in Utah). But I had no idea that the fact that there were a bunch of Mormon women blogging about our lives would entice such harsh criticism. While many look perfect on the outside (and I agree, a lot of LDS families look like the Cleavers from "Leave it to Beaver") no family is perfect. So...to just end this rant, I find it unfair that LDS people are judged by our outward appearances simply because we are LDS.
One of the blog writer's posts that hit home with me talks about disliking Relief Society and not wanting to go every week. And I admit, this is something I am guilty of. Since moving into our new ward, Nick and I were called to be Nursery workers so I only get to go to RS twice a month. I hate to admit, but I dread these weeks. I am a very shy person when first getting to know people and so RS has been a challenge for me from the beginning. I don't talk to people, I sit by myself and I leave the second RS is over. And to be honest, I know that because I do these things I am making it hard to fit in. But, I just can't seem to get over the shyness and talk to people (not to mention, I'm AWFUL with names). It's a vicious cycle. But I guess my point in revealing this is that I am a member, I love the church and I completely know that it is true, but yet I still struggle with going to Relief Society. No one is perfect. No one is expected to be. But this secret on Postsecret really made me feel badly about not talking to people in RS. Maybe one of the sisters there is having a hard time adjusting or making friends or is "faking it" as the blog says...but either way, maybe if I wasn't so shy I could make RS bearable for someone else, and in turn make it bearable for myself. I'm going to try really hard this next week to be better about talking to the women in RS because I'm tired of not having friends at church or feeling accepted and dreading RS...and it's up to me to change that.
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People like that are stupid. I hope I never hate anyone for living a good life, for being friendly and happy, and for always trying to do good. It's even worse when they spread that hate.
I've had a small taste of that attitude this past year, and it wasn't good. Sometimes I feel closer to the Spirit and other times I feel further away, depending on what I'm doing or not doing in my life. Well there was a time this past year when I wasn't as spiritual as I could good be. This new family moved into the ward. They looked like they just came out of a magazine. They were absolutely beautiful and you could tell just by looking at them that they were up at 5am every morning studying their scriptures, and they did everything perfect. I instantly didn't like them. I told myself that it was terrible to judge someone for being righteous, but then I pushed that thought aside and figured it couldn't hurt to judge someone who was spiritual, it's not like it would make them quit the church or anything.
My husband wasn't at church with me, so I told him about them. He agreed with me that they seemed too perfect.
Soon after that the Husband became my Home Teacher, and the Wife became my Visiting Teaching companion. Since then I have learned sooooooo much from them. They are the most wonderful people I have ever met. Our home teacher always says what we need to hear, I am so thankful that he is spiritually in tune. The wife has been such a great friend, and she is very good at making everyone around her feel good about themselves, and she is so excited to share the gospel with people around her, and she's enthusiastic about reactivating the women we visit teach. It's amazing. I have also learned about her past, she has had to endure SO MUCH, things that I don't think I could ever handle (her first husband committed suicide and abandoned her with their two boys.) It's really amazing to see that she endured those trials and trusted in the Lord and came out stronger.
I have been humbled, and I wish I never ever thought those things about this wonderful family. They have made the biggest difference in my life.
I think it's worse to judge someone for being righteous than it is to judge someone for being unrighteous.
That's such a good story Alissa! Thank you! I am surprised at how often I have been humbled in the past year, but I love that it gives me a chance to change and do better. You inspire me more than you think. :)
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